You’ve done something extraordinary and have feelings for your fuckbuddy you met through BuddyBang or another fuck website. This is a difficult situation for women. Because joining and establishing a fuckbuddy relationships is like signing a NSA Agreement for a relationship that does no more than the bedroom. It can be easy to fall in love with someone if they spend time together, have a good night’s sleep, and talk innocently.
Unfortunately, most situations that aren’t romcoms are one-sided. Numerous studies show that unrequited feelings are more likely to come from the woman than the man in a fuckbuddy situation. Although some believe the idea that women fall for men they sleep with because of Oxytocin is a rumor that is untrue, it does have some validity.
The Oxytocin myth describes a woman’s attraction to a man through the emission of Oxytocin after a post-sex cuddle. You’ve been in the situation of feeling for your FWB. How do you tell your FWB that you are looking for a boyfriend, not a fuckbuddy.
[Related to: Signs that you’re feeling for your Fuckbuddy]
You’ll first need to decide whether you should tell your fuckbuddy. You may need to reevaluate your relationship with your crush if you feel you have feelings for him but he wants a FWB relationship only.
You may be unsure of your feelings or find yourself falling for unsuitable men. This ‘crush’ on your fuckbuddy might just be that: a crush. A deep conversation about moving on to the next level could backfire and ruin something you already have going well with your fuckbuddy. You should end the relationship if you feel that your feelings are not genuine and your fuckbuddy does not agree with you. Although it sounds harsh, you don’t want your feelings to be hurt. It will feel better to end the fuckbuddy relationships with dignity than to give your heart to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Once you realize that you have deep feelings for your fuckbuddy and that there is a possibility that he may feel the same, you will need to start a conversation with your fuckbuddy. What do you do? You’ve let this guy be intimate without taking any responsibility. This is perfectly fine for a FWB relationship. It’s difficult to guide men towards emotional commitment and boundaries once you have given up your intimacy.
Before you go into all of this, it’s important to ask the obvious question: Does he feel exactly the same? Although it can be difficult to ask and go out, it will save you so much grief and emotional stress. If he says he doesn’t feel the same, it is time to end the relationship. If he tells you that he feels the same way, it’s possible to move on to a real relationship.
After establishing that you both want something more, you’ll need to set some boundaries and let your fuckbuddy-with-feelings know that some things are going to change for the better in the relationship because you now require a level of emotional commitment that you didn’t before. It doesn’t mean you have to be exclusive immediately (unless you feel that this is what you need in a relationship), but it does mean that your FWB needs to grow, change and deepen.
This is where you will need to be direct and not sound demanding. This guy was not under pressure so it is possible that he doesn’t know how to deal with pressure. You might find it difficult to find the right words. Try this: “I love what you have had, but know that I need more from you, and that you will need more from me.” To start this new chapter, it’s important to allow the emotional side of the relationship to develop in the same way that the sexual part has. “Don’t worry, the changes will be easy.” This shows you are able to hold your ground, have control of the situation, and are willing to allow your partner to adapt and grow.
After you have established your boundaries, it’s important to allow the conversation to settle into your fuckbuddy. Don’t kick a dead horse. Keep the conversation brief and sweet. Allow him to do his own learning and give him the space to think, feel for you and share his feelings about the situation. As a team, embark on this new journey together. This will allow you to have the incredible relationship you deserve with your fuckbuddy.